Ok, I've got a couple new crystals, and an external oscillator on the way. By gosh or by golly, I'm going to make this work!
I'll also try it on a new perfboard, as I've had problems with this type of perfboard before (from China..), though I checked the one I'm using out, and it seemed decent.
What's the "capacitor issue/fix" with the Fuzebox? I've double checked to make sure that all the caps and everything are in their proper place and orientation.
Sadly I won't be able to check things out on a scope again till Tuesday, so I guess I'll be back then!

